And Then The Internet Made Me Go Crazy

I am ready to lose my shit, you guys. I’m just so tired, nearly exhausted, from reading blog upon blog of speculation on the new iphone that’s coming out and its possible delicious new features. A new round of this happens every 6 months or so, and I am getting terribly tired of the fuss that surrounds it.

“Stop reading so much internet,” you say. Well, I tell you in response to shut your filthy mouth, because I’ll stop reading so much internet the day I stop breathing forever.

Apple’s new announcements in themselves don’t bother me. I usually work myself into a pretty solid fervor when new tech devices that I love are released. It’s the INANE discussions that come with it. I definitely see and enjoy the excitement for brand-new features that are brought in, like Siri or the HDR camera stuff… that stuff is cool and new and different. But come on.

OMG THE SCREEN IS GOING TO BE BETTER AND THE PHONE IS GOING TO BE FASTER.
Yes, duh, of course it is. It’s a newer phone. If it weren’t better, it would still be the same phone but with new software.

The other thing that just totally irks me is the consolation that is doled out by nearly every single Apple obsessive when a rumor that was hotly anticipated doesn’t materialize. The one that I specifically remember most from the last big release was about a screen size increase. There were plenty of surveys by different blogs, allowing readers to click which rumored feature they wanted most. A larger iphone screen by far won over other feature options of 4G, better camera, and thinner form among a few other things.

So, when the new iphone came out, it was better and faster and had that sweet camera, but the screen was still 3.5″. What a bummer for all those people who had wanted it so badly, right?

Nope.

The next series of blog posts I saw regarding the screen size was explaining how Apple will never change the screen size, because the way it is is perfect, because it’s only as big as your hand, and anything that’s bigger is stupid because you don’t want to have to use two hands to use your phone and if you do it makes you a jerk, go Apple go.

Now, my issue isn’t with Apple not changing their screen size — I don’t use an iphone so I don’t care how big that screen is. I also don’t actually mind the hysteria over new things and what’s changing, because new and innovative things ARE important, no matter if you’re Team Apple or Team Android (as long as you’re not Team Windows Phone, amiright?! **HIGHFIVE**). My issue is regarding all these new things that Apple users obviously want, but don’t get… but it doesn’t matter. I guess the big picture is that, well, at least you’re still under Apple’s happy umbrella, even if you don’t have the features that you wanted so badly not 10 minutes before the official specs were revealed. You don’t need those features — your thumbs are too small. Hey, yeah, we DON’T need that — our thumbs ARE too small!

So… yeah. The self-placation after Apple doesn’t put out really puts me off. I absolutely do understand that some people don’t give a shit about what their phones do, as long as they sometimes act like a phone, but a whole lot of people actually do know and care what’s going on inside their phone. I’m sure I’ve said it before, but Apple’s brand loyalty is sickening and super admirable, all at once. That’s great for Apple… not so great for people who are ultimately stuck waiting for the next round or the next to get what they actually want in a product since they’re not able to venture from their brand.

PS. As mentioned before, I’m not a super-hater. I carry an ipad with me most of the time, and am in the process of upgrading the hard drive on my imac. So don’t get too sassy with me about how I don’t like the Android competition or whatever. I SAID DON’T GET SASSY!

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