it's about bre.

it's about bre.

About Me
I'm a graphic designer in south Texas. I have a lot to say. Some of it is offensive, some of it is funny, some of it makes you want to delete the internet... and most...
Contact
Need to tell me something? Have some info that I NEED to know? Do I have a piece of spinach in my teeth? Please let me know!   email it: breannesp@gmail.com tweet it: @breannesp instagram...
Pretty Sneaky, TWC
Last week, I received a letter from Time Warner. Generally, when I receive something from them, I recognize it as a bill reminder, roll my...
Read More
The Last Unicorn
I saw a unicorn yesterday: possibly the last known person under the age of 70 that had no clue what a "selfie" is. It was...
Read More
Chocolate Pudding Shopping
For the last Walking Dead episode of the season, my friends and I decided we'd do a themed dinner. Well, to be fair, I told...
Read More
You Need This App: Frequency
Questions that nag in my mind while I'm waiting for sleep to come: - Exactly how long did I spend tonight staring at Reddit Is...
Read More
New Toys: The Air Dock
A while ago, I found a lovely little wireless car charger called The Air Dock, gathering money for funding in an indiegogo campaign. I'd been...
Read More
What The Internet Is Searching For
The admin dashboard of my blog shows me a lot of things, but my most favorite thing is the results of search traffic. This is...
Read More

Sluts on Halloween

I borrowed the title of this post from a youtube video by Jenna Marbles on the same topic. It’s hilarious and you should definitely watch it right now… I’ll wait. Go on now. I definitely get Jenna’s point of some girls just wanting to whore it up on the one …

Some Pig

This Saturday, I will be being the best friend that I can be and babysitting my friend’s potbelly pig until he gets moved and settled into a new home. Napoleon should be very happy living in my backyard, yet the jury’s still out on whether or not the dogs will appreciate his presence and lawn-trimming skills.

Don’t worry — this WILL all be documented.

A New Home

I find myself more and more frequently yelling at the bugs I’ve trapped in the clear canister of my vacuum while shining a flashlight in to illuminate their beady Godless eyes.

Dyson 3, scorpions & cockroach 0.

The Drunkest Monkeys of Them All

This is one of the best documentary clips of all time. Summary: animals drunk off their asses from fermented fruit, with silly complementary sound effects. Boi-oi-oi-ng!

Incidentally, I am currently in the market for a marula tree and a few monkeys, if anyone’s selling.

 

PS I am absolutely not interested in anyone positing that these animals were sedated or anything else that makes me sad. Just don’t, you guys. Just try to enjoy drunk elephants and hungover monkeys like the rest of the internet please.

Seche Vite Love

After too many chips and dents and sheet marks, I decided it was time to take a look at changing my nail polish top coat. Through reading just dozens and dozens (ok, like three) blogs and reviews, I saw a consistent winner and bought myself a bottle of Seche Vite… and oh my goodness, it is good. Here I am, six days after my home-mani and though the tips are slightly worn, there is no chipping and peeling. Also, it dried so quickly that I only had time to bump them against a door handle once (with minimal damage) before drying! A loyal customer has been gained, Seche Vite. And even though I don’t quite know how to say your name, my hands belong to you.

(For results on par with mine, be sure not to do dishes or manual labor or try to peel up stickers or anything.)