B… I found B on match.com. He was on a break from being the singer in a band out of Dallas. While a guy who plays an instrument immediately draws me in (no, Rock Band doesn’t count), and although B only sang, his “rocker” look and personality made up for the lack of instrumental skills.
Our first date was nice – we just met at a bar and chatted for a while. Our second date was also what I can only classify as “nice,” he picked me up and we went to a restaurant/patio area and (I) had a few drinks. The next day, he let me know that he had awakened in the middle of the night to write a song about me. At first, I was shocked. Then I was a little weirded out. Then I thought it was sweet, but then weirded out came back pretty quickly. Third date was a movie, and at that point I decided that while he was nice and sweet, that was all he was. It was a typical set of dates, getting to know you, and I decided to opt out after date 3.
After much consultation with a few friends (since I’m not much of a “dater”), it was established that since 98% of communication between B and I was through text, I would be able to deliver the “just friends” message via text. It sucks, I know, but honestly… I didn’t think it was that big a deal. I may have been a tad mistaken.
I sent the text the next day. It was EXTREMELY well-crafted, a very soft let-down that actually should have left him feeling maybe some sad but also maybe a little better in the end. I was proud of myself for writing something so caring and sensitive… it made me feel better for sending it to his cell phone instead of using my voice like a real person. Any confidence I had in the serenity of my message was shattered by the subsequent texts I received. In a nutshell, he was devastated that this had to happen, and I needed to give him one more chance, and if he only had one (naked) night with me it would be different, and things to that effect for the rest of the day. Keep in mind that this is after three dates. Three. I sent some light responses to his depressing texts, hoping to ease the situation. He let me know that he would be going to Dallas to play a show, and would be playing “my song” on the radio during a live interview. “My song” went back to being sweet instead of creepy. He sent me the lyrics and I was drawn slightly back into the web, wondering if maybe I should give this sweet, damaged boy another chance…
The next day, B sent me a text letting me know that it was good that I had let him go, as he had found a long-lost love again in Dallas, and that they were still very much in love. Attached to the text was a picture of the two of them.
So, while still extremely shocked (I spent most of the day at AleFest with friends and would interrupt sporadically throughout the day with “…wait, REALLY?!? WHAT?!?”), I was glad to be through with the entire situation. However, apparently that long-lost love seemed to be the first of many “baits” that I received, from telling me that he’s moving away to telling me that his health is wavering and he needs all the prayers he can get (and that I could get details or information if I only just called him to talk about it).
I still get occasional texts. I don’t answer them. There’s probably a better, more human way to handle the situation, but I don’t have the balls or the will to do so. Musicians, you are down one point.