Animals at the Office

I work in the middle of nowhere. No, seriously. Across the street from the office, there is a giant lumber warehouse. One one side of us, there is a grove of trees and on the other side is a corn field (or cabbage, or cauliflower, or whatever’s in season). So, with us being away from everything, animals tend to show up. This is generally because either 1) they are wild and just decide to show up because nobody is the boss of them, 2) assholes who don’t want their pets anymore dump them out here to “be free,” 3) pets run away and wind up here somehow – perhaps word is out on the street that we are suckers for furry 4-leggers.

Recently, a tiny bunny showed up. He hangs out in the shrubs in front of the office and sticks around possibly because of the carrots and various veggies that are now being left for him by the girls in customer service. Bunny seems to be a pretty good guy, and I’m excited when I see him. However, wild bunnies are boring because they run away when I want to cuddle them. Also, they probably have some weird rabbit diseases. Ugh.

Below is a list of the animals that I can remember having visited and called us a temporary home in the 7 years I’ve been here:

– Harvey the cat. 2yr old cat who was neutered, then dumped when his owners decided to be awful people. Lived here, being fed by us several times/day, for 5-6 years. Harvey is super and was just relocated to the home of one of the customer service girls.
– Longhaired tortoise-shell kitty. Dumped. Taken home by one of our maintenance guys.
– Stinkbreath the kitten. Stinkbreath was so named bc his breath smelled terrible. Yes, I’m aware that this means he was probably pretty sick, but nobody could take him in. That baby cat eventually “disappeared.”
– Pierre the peacock. One day, a peacock showed up. It was weird. He liked Harvey’s cat food, and they occasionally had stare-offs. People were saying that he flew over from a nearby farm or something. I don’t know. A lot of that day was spent googling info on if peacocks could fly.
– Horned owl. Unnamed bc I don’t even what what kind of names owls have. Probably would have been something like Professor Roberts or something, something smart-sounding. This pretty girl laid some eggs in a tree in our front yard which turned into baby owls. Pretty cute and fluffy.
– So many dogs: orange lab mix (I took that one home with me, my sweet baby dog Nani), male cowdog-lookin’ dog (we named him Daddy because he was one. Disappeared after a while, maybe with the help of a dog catcher), female hound (pregnant by Daddy, had 1 litter which we gave away, so so sweet, named Momma… disappeared), spunky young pup (Teddy, cuz he looked like a little bear, was adopted by a kind Racker), crazy-in-the-head chow mix (we named her TinyFace because her face was too small for her head. Disappeared with the rest of them in the possible dog rapture), orange dog that had only half a tail (named Stumps, because of the tail thing. Friendly, but disappeared).

I think I’ll name the bunny Peter Cottonpants.