A New Home

I find myself more and more frequently yelling at the bugs I’ve trapped in the clear canister of my vacuum while shining a flashlight in to illuminate their beady Godless eyes.

Dyson 3, scorpions & cockroach 0.


I currently have two “owies” on my right hand. They’re difficult to see in the photo, so I’ve circled them because I’m a helpful person.

Inside the yellow circle is a deep and painful bruise I got after slamming my hand with a racquet while playing racquetball (I’m a flail-er).

Inside the red circle is a burn from a scalding hot skillet of poutine (“Poutine is a French Canadian dish of French fries, topped with brown gravy and cheese curds.”), fresh out of an oven with the temperature set to 9000 degrees.

An injury from sports follows an injury from things smothered in gravy and cheese (in addition to the general damage to arteries, general health, etc). And that, my friends, is how you attain balance in your life.

Sort of.


Well, hypothetically, that is. It’s actually mine, and I’m keeping it, and you’re not allowed to say it’s yours. But other than that, make yourself at home! I’ve got this new blog design I’m playing with, so things will be tweaked and might be weird for a bit, but hopefully …