Killer Karaoke: Why I Love TV

There are two things I love in this world: tv and karaoke. Well, that’s the short list. The longer list includes baby animals, capybaras, desserts, and massages. Also, things with cheese on them. And really good ribs. Also, polenta. And fancy handbags. And nail polish.

SO, back to tv and karaoke. I cut the cable in my house a few years ago, but not because I’m better than you guys and all snooty about it, but because I didn’t want to pay for it anymore. I found that I could watch what I wanted to watch via Hulu, Netflix, and (other), so all I ended up missing out on was channel surfing and being able to turn off my brain during the truly mindless tv shows that I ran across. I may make fun of you for watching Jersey Shore (no, I WILL make fun of you for watching Jersey Shore), but just know that if I had cable, I would probably watch every single marathon featuring those schlubs if I had the misfortune of surfing in that channel’s direction and becoming trapped.

When I came across some youtube clips for a show called Killer Karaoke, I was immediately interested. First off, I was excited about the karaoke part, because I very much enjoy acting the fool at karaoke. Then, I found out what the show actually is: each round starts with a contestant singing their favorite karaoke song. Then they just start getting jacked with relentlessly and they’re not supposed to stop singing. I saw them being slapped in the face with fish, shocked, dipped into a pool of snakes… it’s Fear Factor plus that show with Wayne Brady where he sings songs (I think that’s everything he was in ever?). I was dying laughing the first time I watched these… the second and third times were pretty great too.

…Then I realized that somebody is paying a lot to make this show. Steve-O is probably getting paid a lot to host this show. It reminded me of “Ow! My Balls!” from Idiocracy – mindless, dumb humor with no value at all except if you need to leave the tv on while you’re gone so that the dogs don’t get lonely.

This is what we’ve been building towards, America?! This is what we’re leaving behind for our children, or for our dogs that we make wear clothes and hats because we don’t have any children?!

I mean, I’m ok with it I guess, just wondering.

Also, this show premieres the day after Thanksgiving… which means that I’ll be hunting for a home with cable in which catch the series premiere of what I’m sure will be a record-breakingly short series.

I can’t freakin’ wait.