Spartanburg Electronics Clearance!

Seriously, people. If you live in South Carolina, Spartanburg specifically, stop trying to buy electronics in parking lots. I know Best Buy is really a drag, but at least they give you actual electronics in return for your money.

Last week, a 22 year old girl bought an “ipad” for $180 at a McDonald’s. Apparently, a few dudes told her they bought them in bulk and now were just trying to offload them. Seems totally legit! What she got when she opened the FedEx box it was packed in was a piece of wood, painted black. The best part is the Apple logo glued on the back. +5 style points! Also, there’s a nice printout pasted to the front that sorta makes the wood look like it has a screen with ipad icons on it. Sorta. If your eyes are mostly squinted shut. And also if you were dumb enough to buy an ipad from a stranger in a McDonald’s parking lot… wait…

So, you would think that Spartanburg Country would really be on alert for scammers trying to scam their way through life and through their wallets. Nope. Wednesday, a woman in a gas station parking lot in the same city thought she was getting the deal of a lifetime — $250 for a brand new laptop — from a man who had “gotten them at a discount” and needed to get rid of them. Oh, also, he had a grill in his mouth and four gold teeth. So, reliable. When she opened HER FedEx box to check out her brand new computer, she found a phone book wrapped in black duct tape, along with a power cord. So you can plug it in.

Basically, what we have here is a thief and all-around terrible guy who I don’t know if I want to be angry with. Reasons as follow:
1: creative! This guy has got to have a nice little craft workshop. Paper mache supplies, different colors of tape, markers, glue. Hopefully his next project involves glitter.
2: resourceful! “Hey, I don’t have anything to sell for profit, so why don’t I just MAKE an ipad to sell?” It makes so much sense that I don’t know why anyone else hadn’t thought of it.
3: attention to detail! Those “electronics” were each inside a FedEx box. This guy gave himself mere SECONDS of getaway time in his scam by painting or taping them to look kinda like the high-dollar items they’re supposed to be. Nice work, crooks. At least it adds something to the entertainment factor of the thieving.

So, Spartanburg: continue to buy your “this smells just like CK One” perfume in gas station parking lots if you’d like, but you’ve just gotta stop buying your tech gear there.