On my trip to Galveston over the weekend, we decided to go on a Harbor Tour. We hopped on a boat and were promised dolphin sightings, as well as some history of the buildings and ships in the area.
Our tour guide was a seasoned old sailor who looked like he’d been baking in the Texas sun for more than a few summers. Hanging on the back of his Captain’s chair was a backpack that was unzipped enough for us to see several packs of cigarettes and 4 cigars – just in case, I guess. He welcomed all of us “tourists” onto his skiff, chatting us up along the way. After we were all seated, he started the boat and we started looking for dolphins. We found them pretty quickly, about 4-6 of them that kept coming to the surface in a group. Our tour guide informed us that HEY GUESS WHAT, it’s dolphin mating season. He let us know that this was extremely rare to be able to watch, and that we and Jack Cousteau (yes, Jack) were some of the only ones who had ever seen this.
We watching dolphins jumping and writhing, tumbling around. There was sexy confusion (for us all, I think). Tour guide explained to us the way dolphin mating works: several males corner a female and corral her towards an isolated area, then basically see who can “get her” first.
“Kinda like how it is in Austin, huh? Haha… thank you.” – actual tour-guide quote.
Anyway, with all that writhing and tossing and turning, all relatively close to our boat. I saw some things… some things that I cannot unsee. And also some things that I later had to find on youtube to see again so that I could be sure of just what they are.
Who knew it would happen this way, but I totally saw a dolphin wiener. It just kinda pops right out of the belly area, so I had to verify via the internets that I wasn’t making something up.
Also, as a bonus, the tour guide kept telling us all to get ready for the dolphins to surface again by announcing “HERE COMES THE MONEY SHOT!” Luckily, I think the 3-10 year olds on the boat with us probably didn’t know exactly what that phrase meant.
Anyway, in looking through my pictures afterwards to see if I had any blackmail-worthy nude dolphin shots, I found that I had shot nothing but a lot of choppy water and maybe a fin here and there. No scandalous photos to hide in a “2009 Taxes” folder in my computer. No sexiness. Just Galveston water.
So, we recreated the shot in the gift shop with wooden trinkets. This is what dolphin sex looks like, more or less. An educational time was had by us all.