I currently have two “owies” on my right hand. They’re difficult to see in the photo, so I’ve circled them because I’m a helpful person.

Inside the yellow circle is a deep and painful bruise I got after slamming my hand with a racquet while playing racquetball (I’m a flail-er).

Inside the red circle is a burn from a scalding hot skillet of poutine (“Poutine is a French Canadian dish of French fries, topped with brown gravy and cheese curds.”), fresh out of an oven with the temperature set to 9000 degrees.

An injury from sports follows an injury from things smothered in gravy and cheese (in addition to the general damage to arteries, general health, etc). And that, my friends, is how you attain balance in your life.

Sort of.