Hung on the wall above my bed, I have some molded plastic flowers by Umbra. They’re lovely, in a swooshing design that starts low and ends near the ceiling on the opposite side of the bed. Each is magnetized on the back so are able to stick to the metal stickpins that you put in the wall.

Last week, I realized that a few of the flowers had fallen off the wall. I wasn’t positive as to what happened, but when I looked under the bed I saw several of my plastic flowers that had been chewed to bits (sometimes yellowdog hides out under the bed). I cleaned the plastic bits up and removed the empty metal pins from the wall.

The next day, I noticed that there was another empty pin in the wall. I checked under the bed again and found another chewed up flower.

WELL, this morning I awoke to the cat standing on my pillow, reaching up the wall and batting at the lowest plastic flower she could get to. I yelled at her and she ran away, probably to try to destroy something else in my house.

Teamwork: I pin what will soon be my cat’s favorite toys to the wall. She later has a fantastic time swatting them down when I’m not paying attention. The dog chews them up because they’re made of hard plastic and dangerous to swallow, which makes them all the more delicious, and later thanks the cat by chasing her through the house when I’m trying to take a nap.

My house is full of jerks.