The Last Unicorn

I saw a unicorn yesterday: possibly the last known person under the age of 70 that had no clue what a “selfie” is. It was super mystical.

I was at the gym, gathering my stuff from my locker after one of my “watching LOST while I sweat on the stupid exercise machine” sessions. The only other people in the locker room were two sassy Hispanic ladies, aged 30ish. I couldn’t help but overhear their conversation, as they were just so so loud.

Girl 1: Come look at this picture I took of myself on my phone. I look really good.
Girl 2: [looks] Oh yeah, you’re right. That IS good. How do you take a picture like that?
Girl 1: Well, on your cellphone, you open the camera app and there’s a little button that turns the camera around so it takes a picture of you. See? Then you go like this… [snap] See? That one looks really good too.

Girl 1 proceeded to show her friend how exactly to hold the phone to take a good selfie, then they took several photos of themselves. By that time I was definitely done getting ready to go home, but was just standing in the dressing room randomly digging around in my purse, wishing I were brave enough to pop an intervention on them. I was able to walk out of the room as Girl 2 was being instructed on the hottest selfie angles and proper camera distances, and could only think of the handy selfie how-to guide I’ve seen floating around lately.


If your phone’s photo gallery is more than 1/4 full of pictures of you took of yourself in the car, laying on your bed, or lounging in the grass, all with the same facial expression and all for the sole purpose of having another picture of your own face, then you might have a selfie problem. Please seek help.