Things from the Internets, 8/25

• Hey Apple – You’re not the boss of freakin’ everything. Just because you made a phone that’s rectangular and thin and has a button doesn’t mean that other people can’t do the same. Just because your ipad is thin with a large flat screen doesn’t mean that other people can’t make one that shape too. Calm down, stop suing everyone. If your product is better, people will continue to buy your product. I understand that with Apple’s exorbitant pricing, they’d like to knock out anything that’s similar and could be used as a “substitute,” but people who want an Apple actually want an APPLE (certainly not just some type of technology that you shop around for, looking for the best prices). Anyway, good for you, Samsung, for calling Apple out on their ipad patent… not that I think it’ll really matter. Tablet computers in a flat rectangular shape have been all over scifi for a long time, and Apple really shouldn’t have been able to patent a flat tablet with a big screen. PS – I’m not an Apple hater. I love my imac and carry my ipad with me every day. However, Apple needs just cool it and let everyone play the game. Some things are worth suing over, but some things are just bullying. Boo.
(Yes, I am aware that everyone is suing everyone. So really, though Apple is in the media’s eye, everyone just needs to cool their jets and shut up and make me a new awesome phone already.)

• When I see an awesome video that looks like it wasn’t set-up, I try to enjoy it and pray that I’m not going to see an article about how it was a viral marketing campaign for Axe Body Spray. When I watched this video five times in a row this morning, I was trying not to think of what this could potentially be an ad for… anyway, watch it because it’s delightful. Pillow fight street attack!

• The Smithsonian Zoo has issued a press release recording how certain animals reacted to Virginia’s Tuesday earthquake. A quick wrap-up:
– monkeys/apes panic and climb into trees
– ducks/beavers panic and get in the water
– snakes “writhe”… I guess that’s how a snake panics
– flamingos huddle together into one huge stinky pink ball of filth
– lions stare at shaking building, trying to intimidate it into stopping. It worked.
– tiger is awakened by shaking and jumps up with an assumed “HEY WTF!?” 
– rock hyrax got all fussy and didn’t finish his lunchtime grapes, which is strange because HYRAXES LOVE GRAPES. He sat around looking kinda pissed off, awaiting you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth.
– “Prezwalski’s horses and scimitar-horned oryx hardly noticed although those that were inside did amble outside eventually.” I can only guess that Prezwalski’s horses were a little high.
– Eld’s deer, red ruffled lemurs, howler monkeys, and orangutan all yelled a bunch just really making a racket.
– Pandas did not give a shit either way and “did not appear to respond to the earthquake.” No word on how the honeybadger responded.

• Aaliyah died 10 years ago today. When I remember that I was in college while watching her videos on TRL, that makes me feel very very old.

• QWOP. Do you know about QWOP? It’s a flash-based browser “game” that apparently was launched in 2008 but really got crazy bananas popular earlier this year. I’ve been seeing all the memes about it (mostly attached to photos of people being photographed in terribly awkward positions). Anyway, I finally looked up what this “QWOP” was based on and was immediately and violently thrown into a terrible world of seemingly terrible lack of hand-eye coordination. That game is hard and awful… but you should give it a shot.

• I have just been forcefully reminded that today is @nanpalmero’s birthday. Today, he and his beard turn 32. Nan is a delight to talk to and is always there to send you links to lolcats that you already saw last week. 🙂